2016 October

October 13, 2016

What is self- sabotage?

We self-sabotage ourselves by allowing ourselves to have a negative state of mind by being angry, bitter, holding grudges or staying in a bad relationship because we are unconsciously addicted to pain.

We can also sabotage ourselves by being too hard on ourselves in the face of failure or supporting a poor self-image that affects how we perform in our lives. This prevents us from objectively moving forward with our lives.

In short, self-sabotage is entertaining bad habits. We are creatures of habit and our lives are as a result of our habits.

So how do we break away from bad habits?

1. Start by acknowledging the bad habits and take responsibility for them.

Do not have excuses as to why you have bad habits or are unable to change them.

Do not blame others or the circumstances as that just takes away the responsibility of changing them. We do this a lot, as it makes us feel better by making the other person the villain.

How many times has something happened to you and you are so quick to point out whose fault that was?

Now, you might not like what I am about to say but: Everything that is happening in your life, is as a result of your action!

Relax…just take a  minute to understand that statement.

For you to be in a position to change what is going on in your life right now, you need to take 100%  responsibility of the results that are happening in your life.

You created those events, whether consciously or unconsciously. Come to terms with this simple fact, as life is all about cause and effect.

Same thing about action and reaction, it doesn’t matter what happens to you, what matters most is how you react to it.



2. The  next step is to have a strong and decided intention to change.

Do not expect immediate results because your brain is  programmed to resist change.

Start by strictly setting daily or  weekly requirements for yourself, but ensure that they are so  easy that your subconscious mind will not feel controlled by  your plans.

For this to be successful, you need to ask yourself:

‘How badly do I want this change?’

Because if you have gotten comfortable with your situation, you will give up at the slightest struggle you encounter. But if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will overcome the struggles!

3. Develop a mini-habit as they expose you to your doubts and fears in a way that feels safe and empowering.

You can make your habits stupid small and train yourself to be aware of the mini-habit you are trying to develop. For example, if you are trying to get rid of negative thoughts by being more positive, start by not shouting at someone who steps on you. Or not cursing at the driver who will not give you way at the junction. And by slowly developing this sense of calm, you will be more in control when your bank shuts down and will instead objectively look for an alternative solution.

One of the most important skills you can develop is mindfulness, that is, being aware of what you think and do.



Be sure to identify why it is important for you to develop that habit.

The advantage of the new habit should be more important than the pain of implementing it.

Do you want to lose weight and shed off that stubborn belly fat?

Think of that amazing outfit that you want to fit into. Imagine the curves or the biceps that are awaiting you on the other side of achievement. This picture will motivate you to overcome the pains of exercising and not eating the delicious fries or pizza.

Once you have mastered implementing the mini-habit of say being positive in the face of negativity, you can easily identify the next positive action.

October 13, 2016


I remember the day I woke up and realized that I had lost my job. I felt broken and discouraged and at that moment my self-esteem went to the floor. I felt like I was not good enough as I had failed. I felt unwanted and incapable.

We all have experienced an event in our lives that left us broken and discouraged. We had to deal with hurt emotions and disappointment, either in ourselves or others.

How do we manage to deal with a difficult past that threatens our present state and dims our future?

         1. Get New Hobbies

We need to start by realizing that the present and the future depend on learning new habits and new ways of looking at old problems.

This was a time for me to do some soul-searching and find out what I am really passionate about. This period allowed me to invest my time in improving myself. I took on a new course and new hobbies that left me invigorated and inspired!

Continually criticizing yourself for past mistakes and errors does not help matters, but on the other hand, tends to perpetuate the very behavior you would change. It will only make you feel worse and cloud your judgement, preventing you from moving forward.

            2.Live in the Now

Misery loves company, hence your foul mood will create a negative atmosphere around you. You will find every kind of reason to complain about how life is unfair and how things are not working out.

The minute we change our minds and stop giving power to the past, the past with its mistakes loses power over us.

You should say enough is enough, and ,wake up your mind. As what you think and believe becomes reality.

I had to concentrate on living in the NOW. In milking every positive experience I had and reminding myself that Life is beautiful.

It is this new found joy that lead me to meeting and interacting with wonderful people that had such a wonderful attitude towards life!

           3.Have New Exciting Goals

Choose positive thoughts, hang around positive people, choose fun activities to engage in, believe in a bright future that you choose to start creating NOW, this very moment.

Have new exciting goals to work towards. This will keep you motivated  and looking forward to the future. self-doubt-1


             4. Challenge Irrational Beliefs

You should never allow contrary, irrational beliefs to pass unchallenged or obtain hold over you.

Be self-aware of how you are feeling, as it is an indication of what is going through your mind. Constantly picturing to yourself and dwelling upon a desirable end result will also make the possibility seem more real, and appropriate emotions of enthusiasm, cheerfulness, encouragement and happiness will automatically be generated.

            5. BE HAPPY!

You are in charge of the kind of future you create. Leave the past and it’s miseries behind and focus on the wonderful future that awaits you…only if you create it!

October 13, 2016

What is Self-Doubt?

Self doubt is the feeling that we are not enough. That we are not talented enough to be promoted, we are not enough to get the man of our dreams, we are not intelligent enough to run our own businesses.

Your present self image of not being enough was built upon your own imagination pictures of yourself in the past, which grew out of interpretations and evaluations which you placed upon the experience.

Feelings of inferiority originate not so much from ‘facts’ or experiences, but our conclusions regarding facts and our evaluation of experience. And this feeling of inferiority comes about for just one reason:

We judge ourselves and measure ourselves, not against our own ‘norm,’ or ‘par’ but against some other ‘individual’s norm’.

But because we think and believe and assume that we should measure upto some other person’s ‘norm’, we feel miserable and second-rate and conclude that there is something wrong with us.

The Truth about You is this:

  •  You are not ‘inferior’
  •  You are not ‘superior’
  •  You are simply YOU!

‘YOU’ as a personality are not in competition with any other personality simply because there is not another person on the face of the earth like you, or in your particular class.

  • You are an individual.
  • You are unique.
  • You are not ‘supposed’ to be like any other person and no other person is ‘supposed’ to be like you.

God made every human being individual and unique just as He made every snowflake individual and unique.

Once you see this simple, rather self-evident truth, accept it and believe it, and your inferior feelings will vanish. There is Greatness in You!