What is self- sabotage?
We self-sabotage ourselves by allowing ourselves to have a negative state of mind by being angry, bitter, holding grudges or staying in a bad relationship because we are unconsciously addicted to pain.
We can also sabotage ourselves by being too hard on ourselves in the face of failure or supporting a poor self-image that affects how we perform in our lives. This prevents us from objectively moving forward with our lives.
In short, self-sabotage is entertaining bad habits. We are creatures of habit and our lives are as a result of our habits.
So how do we break away from bad habits?
1. Start by acknowledging the bad habits and take responsibility for them.
Do not have excuses as to why you have bad habits or are unable to change them.
Do not blame others or the circumstances as that just takes away the responsibility of changing them. We do this a lot, as it makes us feel better by making the other person the villain.
How many times has something happened to you and you are so quick to point out whose fault that was?
Now, you might not like what I am about to say but: Everything that is happening in your life, is as a result of your action!
Relax…just take a minute to understand that statement.
For you to be in a position to change what is going on in your life right now, you need to take 100% responsibility of the results that are happening in your life.
You created those events, whether consciously or unconsciously. Come to terms with this simple fact, as life is all about cause and effect.
Same thing about action and reaction, it doesn’t matter what happens to you, what matters most is how you react to it.
2. The next step is to have a strong and decided intention to change.
Do not expect immediate results because your brain is programmed to resist change.
Start by strictly setting daily or weekly requirements for yourself, but ensure that they are so easy that your subconscious mind will not feel controlled by your plans.
For this to be successful, you need to ask yourself:
‘How badly do I want this change?’
Because if you have gotten comfortable with your situation, you will give up at the slightest struggle you encounter. But if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will overcome the struggles!
3. Develop a mini-habit as they expose you to your doubts and fears in a way that feels safe and empowering.
You can make your habits stupid small and train yourself to be aware of the mini-habit you are trying to develop. For example, if you are trying to get rid of negative thoughts by being more positive, start by not shouting at someone who steps on you. Or not cursing at the driver who will not give you way at the junction. And by slowly developing this sense of calm, you will be more in control when your bank shuts down and will instead objectively look for an alternative solution.
One of the most important skills you can develop is mindfulness, that is, being aware of what you think and do.
Be sure to identify why it is important for you to develop that habit.
The advantage of the new habit should be more important than the pain of implementing it.
Do you want to lose weight and shed off that stubborn belly fat?
Think of that amazing outfit that you want to fit into. Imagine the curves or the biceps that are awaiting you on the other side of achievement. This picture will motivate you to overcome the pains of exercising and not eating the delicious fries or pizza.
Once you have mastered implementing the mini-habit of say being positive in the face of negativity, you can easily identify the next positive action.